Being Yourself

Being Yourself

As I write I find myself wondering what does Being Yourself really mean. Is it a state of Utopia? Can you completely be yourself, when in the midst of a family or a close knit circle of friends who have “Expectations” from you?

Behold this

Have you felt compelled to attend a social gathering, just because you were expected to?

Did you choose the field in which you wanted to study or did you choose the one that you felt would be lucrative and suit you the best?

Did you marry/court/date the person that made you feel alive and complete or did you marry the one that seemed “right “for you?

Do you stop sharing your life with your friends because your spouse does not like it? Or does the sharing continue on the sly, while you pretend that you are true to your spouse?

Have you ever bought a gift for someone, just because that person expected it and not because you wanted to make that person feel special?

Did you follow your passion like Bike racing, aero modelling, dancing, jewellery making or did you jump onto the rat race and take up a well-paying job?

Do you stop meeting your Tapori friends since your parents don’t like to see you hanging around with them? Or do you manage to grab a drink with them on some other pretext?

Do like pottering around the house and pretending that cleaning and doing dishes or even baby-sitting is something you enjoy?!! Eh?!or do you do it because it’s a chore, that needs to be completed?

As I retrospect I find myself being caught in bounteous such situations. There are times I walk the conformist talk, with a nonchalant air, just to let the others know that I DO NOT LIKE what I am “being” made to do. Mind you, yet I do it!

Sometimes I find myself enjoying and savoring every moment of an unexpected occurrence, where I intended to rebel, but eventually enjoyed it.

There are multitudinous times when I do stuff, say things or behave the way I am exactly supposed to, since I am wary of being judged or being labelled “selfish”. Have we been stereotyped into the belief that being the conformist brings appreciation?

I am guilty of not speaking up for myself, even if I am aware of what I really feel or want to do – well on a few occasions.

Hit like if you too have been guilty of being “The conformist” that you were expected to be!!

Share a situation if you are guilty too – Guilty of expecting a parent/spouse/child/friend/relative to behave or conform to what is your dicta, even if they felt unhappy about it.

Introspect the conformist in you. Have you said a YES, when you wanted to say a no?

Have you said a No when you heart was saying Yes, Yes, Yes, because you wanted to comply?

To sum it up it’s no easy task to completely be yourself all the time. 

There are situations when you conform and many when you choose your own path. There will be some people who love you for what you are and what you are not. Many may love you for what you do for them and some probably wont like you at all. But the ones who do love you are the people that matter the most.

Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot keep. Samuel Johnson