Separation Anxiety

Separation Anxiety

It is a psychological condition in which an individual experiences excessive anxiety regarding separation from something to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment.

One hardest things is to be separated from the ones you love.

I had to estrange myself from my constant companion, my friend, foe and my lifeline.It was about so many things that I felt. I missed the connection, the expression, the intimacy we shared. After all these years of being inseparable, dealing with the solitude was dismal. I felt incomplete.

The initial stage was that of rebellion and I did not like dealing with it. How could I tolerate being separated from my mate? It was unfathomable.

That comforting touch, the soft and sturdy feel of having my companion with me was something I missed supremely. I was accustomed to being the center of attention and the one to whom love and affection had been showered all along. I missed the engagement. I missed knowing that my companion was always less than a moment away from me. The attachment and the bond was deep and strong, built over so many years.

To my dismay however I discovered I was able to move on quite soon. I could see that the emotional attachment seemed to be dwindling too. It was like a part of me had been isolated.

The heart break seemed to evaporate as suddenly as it had appeared. I realized that it was me who had been holding on to my mate and by choice. Realization dawned in just a few days that I had been valuing my companion more than I should have been all these years.

Late but nonetheless, I am experiencing freedom now. The constant itch to check on my mate is no longer there. The desperation and need of being in control is gone.

What I did separate from my dear friends is the “Mobile Phone”. My 24/7 companion is now just a friend for a few hours when I have leisure time for myself. In fact I find that my mobile now feels a little bit like an intruder at times.

I see that it has benefited me in numerous ways. I am back in touch with myself and the people that are dear to me and matter the most to me, at the time that I would like to be in touch.

I now realize the endless hours that I have invested in what I can now call " Time Pass".While neither is wrong or right, finding the balance in keeping the gadget away also means adding quality time to myself. 

I am now rediscovering my own space for expression. My passion to run, read, write or just enjoy an animated conversation with my children or my spouse is far more intoxicating than the other mundane stuff that I have been indulging in - sometimes just to appear "busy" or "engaged".

Am learning to be in touch with the silence in myself, and accepting that everything in life has a purpose. There are probably no co incidences or mistakes and every event is indeed a blessing.

Happy being in touch:) !