Separation Anxiety

Separation Anxiety

It is a psychological condition in which an individual experiences excessive anxiety regarding separation from something to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment.

One hardest things is to be separated from the ones you love.

I had to estrange myself from my constant companion, my friend, foe and my lifeline.It was about so many things that I felt. I missed the connection, the expression, the intimacy we shared. After all these years of being inseparable, dealing with the solitude was dismal. I felt incomplete.

The initial stage was that of rebellion and I did not like dealing with it. How could I tolerate being separated from my mate? It was unfathomable.

That comforting touch, the soft and sturdy feel of having my companion with me was something I missed supremely. I was accustomed to being the center of attention and the one to whom love and affection had been showered all along. I missed the engagement. I missed knowing that my companion was always less than a moment away from me. The attachment and the bond was deep and strong, built over so many years.

To my dismay however I discovered I was able to move on quite soon. I could see that the emotional attachment seemed to be dwindling too. It was like a part of me had been isolated.
The heart break seemed to evaporate as suddenly as it had appeared. I realized that it was me who had been holding on to my mate and by choice. Realization dawned in just a few days that I had been valuing my companion more than I should have been all these years.

Late but nonetheless, I am experiencing freedom now. The constant itch to check on my mate is no longer there. The desperation and need of being in control is gone.

What I did separate from my dear friends is the “Mobile Phone”. My 24/7 companion is now just a friend for a few hours when I have leisure time for myself. In fact I find that my mobile now feels a little bit like an intruder at times.

I see that it has benefited me in numerous ways. I am back in touch with myself and the people that are dear to me and matter the most to me, at the time that I would like to be in touch.

I now realize the endless hours that I have invested in what I can now call " Time Pass".While neither is wrong or right, finding the balance in keeping the gadget away also means adding quality time to myself. 

I am now rediscovering my own space for expression. My passion to run, read, write or just enjoy an animated conversation with my children or my spouse is far more intoxicating than the other mundane stuff that I have been indulging in - sometimes just to appear "busy" or "engaged".
Am learning to be in touch with the silence in myself, and accepting that everything in life has a purpose. There are probably no co incidences or mistakes and every event is indeed a blessing.

Happy being in touch:) !





Comments

  1. spicespySeptember 17, 2014 at 9:58 AM

    As always sumana.... Beautiful! Straight from the heart! I loved it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SUMANASeptember 18, 2014 at 6:25 AM

      Thank u. Am unable to see ur profile. Who is this?

      Delete
  2. UnknownSeptember 18, 2014 at 9:23 AM

    Direct, dil se! - Vinu

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Musings of a Mother - Sports

Image
5:20 am : A Cold Sunday Morning.  No alarm, yet the mind's alarm wakes me up on the dot, without fail every Sunday. I look at the boys, fast asleep.  Mommy in me feels like letting them sleep for a few minutes more. I go to them and whisper, hey do you want to sleep in today or go for your football/cricket classes? The answer with sleepy eyes is YES AMMA,we will go to the ground.. The tone for the day is set with the enthusiasm the children have. 6:00 am The boys are ready in their uniforms, spic white for cricket and red for football. We still have 15 minutes so we decide to cycle to the ground for their sports practice. It is cold and nice, I enjoy the speckle of sunlight and the morning dew. Traffic is sparse with just the few newspaper boys and milkmen all cloaked up. To me chaperoning the boys for their respective classes is no chore. It is JOY. Unmatched and unparalleled.  6:15 am The venue is a burst of energy. Effervescent, ebullient, bubbly,e...
Read more

Rains of wisdom!

Image
I jogged today, by the lake which is one of my favorite places, where thoughts accompany me more than anyone else. That bliss and solitude of being able to be one with nature whilst soaking in several reflections is a space I treasure. The weather was pleasant and I could hear the thundering clouds, the breeze was refreshing and it was a relief to be out from the scorching heat that Bangalore has been subject to in the last few months. The heavens opened up and there was a big downpour, there were few people walking and everyone scurried for shelter on the tank bund. Few found trees, while few cut short their walk, some more chose to run, the children playing cricket dashed right out of the park.  The rain lashed out and got heavier, I could not see much, the ground below my feet was all slippery and slushy, the jog however was enjoyable and the rain seemed to be watering away all my troubles. The reflective thoughts in me turned to enjoyment, of just the ecstasy of lettin...
Read more

ODDBALLS

Image
If trigonometry made you go in circles and Algebra made you feel like alphabets were  your worst enemies in mathematics.... Did the 26 characters waltz around you to your tune when you looked at them in grammar and made you feel like a super star when the marks were announced. If you had the logic and reasoning to fare well in the subjects that seemed to love you, more than the ones that you loved. I suppose you are part of the rare breed who appear intelligent and can understand a lot of stuff, yet would struggle with the simplest in such subjects. On the other hand Do you remember yourself as being the "Teachers Pet" beaming in appreciation while everyone around you applauded you for being the super star!! I revere these people, who certainly helped me motivate & push myself to do better all the time. Am sure we all have those ultra brainy friends who have no compulsion to study yet they are the scholars in class always raising the bar and scoring the coveted...
Read more