Adding perspective

I posted my blog on turned tables or unsolicited advice yesterday and felt incomplete about it.

Was privy to a few discussions with family and friends, did get some opinions. 

Made me contemplate deeper.

Sometimes you are indeed a referral point to a dear one, and when they reach out to you for your opinion or advice, you could make it genuine. While you cannot decide for them, you could help by sharing your point of view.

Being rude or retaliating back can have its own repercussions of bringing ruin or misunderstanding to a lovely relationship

Being polite and nodding your head every time can leave you feeling extremely irritated and discontent. Of course the fact that you compromised will show up its ugly head in some other conversation

There could be few relationships where saying no becomes difficult.  Maybe with the in laws, the spouse could be a boss or a superior at work and even a parent.

Constantly ignoring advice could make the person giving it feel undervalued

There are times when we think we KNOW IT ALL. Hence we tend to rebel against any advice provided to us. 

There could be virtue in receiving advice too. For me when it comes to my mother or my husband or a trusted friend, there are times I just follow it without questions. And yes it has worked.

In all of this what I can see is that unsolicited advice, opinions, perspectives do play out in relationships and may cause distances between people. Sometimes temporary, sometimes permanent.

Of course the tables turn, when you seek out counsel voluntarily and that could lead to strengthening the bond and love. You feel overjoyed that following sought after advice worked well.

My own experience says Be Genuine . If you are not okay with something, then say it, help the other side understand your view too. It is no easy thing to do. The first few times are the most difficult. We may be so used to confirming with people, that it is the most natural answer. And we do confirm, even the little voice inside is saying NO! Standing up for yourself does take time, especially if you are not used to it, but every step does make you feel better and more respected.

Eventually you will see that people appreciate how genuine you are. You feel respected .Only you can make yourself feel that way.This respect brings in more contentment in everything that you do.

My mind is replaying out many of these situations for me as I write. In some I wish I had stood up for myself, in few realizing that it was indeed the best way. 

Take the interlude to understand how you felt at any such situation and how it affected you. What is it that you want to do about it and how would you deal with it next time.

“I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.” ― Rita Mae Brown