Quick Fix

Speaking to myself, while rummaging my waaaadrobe , I felt that I needed some really good clothes to wear to office, on my walk, when I stepped out within the locality, when I went out with my family, when I stepped out to the grocery store, when I travelled, when I went jogging, when I slept and blah blah blah blah….

That’s when the saga started. If I did buy new clothes, I would need shoes too! It didn’t matter that I could no longer remember the number of shoes I owned ! 
I looked confused as I mumbled to myself, making a mental list of what I thought I needed. My little one looked at my confusion and asked me, what I was thinking? I told him Amma wants to buy new clothes. He looked at me plainly and asked, why amma, you don’t have clothes is it?

That triggered my thoughts.. 

I did have enough clothes, but I felt now that they weren't good enough! ( few were either tight or loose or some were out of fashion)

Did we really own more than one or two pairs of shoes as children? When a shoe broke, we just took it to the cobbler for repair.

In today’s world - "The fix" simply is buying new ones. It does not matter if it’s a shoe or a gadget or anything else at all.

I see excess caused due to the "fix" in every aspect of my life

Clothes, Shoes, collectibles, gadgets, linen, stationery, vehicles, temples, prayers , food, fat, cholesterol, sugar, weight and every fathomable thing. An excess of relationships too!!

An excess in all, yet faced with a poverty of time. The poverty actually caused by the excess in everything else that we have.

The excess in the materialistic objects that we tend to stash away in the confines of our home, choosing never to discard the clutter.

The time we spend arguing about something petty and holding onto the ego rather than enjoying the moment and making memories.

The time we spend looking for that perfect dress, and maybe once is all you wear it.

The time we spend trying in vain to make another happy, yet find no inner peace within.

Time spent in mindless conversations on social media, yet maybe not a deep connection with someone special.

The time and the effort in making up excuses for not spending time with a loved one, yet not making way for quality time.

Life just seems to be on a brutish autopilot mode, that has been carved by each one of us.

Most people seem to take pride in their gruesome work schedule. I Increasingly see these excesses create paucity in love, in living and in laughter. 

The excess in fact caused by our attitude of quick fixing = replace anything that does not function well.

The quick fixes I see everywhere. Most adults and children do not seem to value anything, whether expensive or not. 

Appears to me in may instances, people, relationships, friends, clothes, books, shoes, jobs, diets are just "fixed" (read replaced) when they don't work as expected.

Good or bad, beneficial or not, I do not have an answer yet. 

But at times I do feel despair, that expectations are the basis for relationships and not unconditional love. That people give up even before trying.

That most take the easy way out and "fix" stuff with an alternate with not a thought on mending it.

Telling myself that there is meaning in words like "renew, rejuvenate, mend, repair" and hoping to unlearn my penchant for the convenient "fixes".