Hero or Victim ?!!

Confident, Savvy, Steadfast, focused, Inspiring, Go Getter, are a few words that my colleagues and friends use to describe me! Well even Nametests seems to have a few of them right!!!

A few years ago, I decided to take the big leap away from the ultra cushiony MNC job and then the Foreign Government job. Traded all of that for the high of entrepreneurship!

In the initial stages the going was tough. Multiple months down the line, the initial euphoria gave way to conflicts, dreariness, arguments, fall outs, self doubt, a lot of blame and whining. 

I made myself a victim, felt low and let that emanate into all the spheres and relationships of my life too! Probably at that time, none of the positive adjectives mentioned even existed in my persona!

There's many a time that Life hands out raw oranges to us. 

In the course of one's journey, we may have been pelted such or even worse rotten oranges from various angles, jobs, bosses, partners, peers, parents, a random client or even a stranger.

Sometimes these have been chucked non stop like the practise balls from the cricket bowling machine, all in a volley, leaving you gasping and unable to understand what hit you and yet the volley just does not stop!

There is philosophical talk about how a tea bag performs best when dipped in boiling water, yet how a potato gets cooked to a delicious softness when boiled in water. 

None of this appeals to the sufferer at that time. It sure feels lonely, like a battle of self doubt, of being misunderstood, misjudged and having no support.

I have seen people who are dear to me lose both parents in a short span, lose their jobs, battle with the deadly cancer at 35, seperate or deal with a third force that shook their beautiful married life.

Why me? Why not someone else? Why now? Why all at once? I NEVER hurt anyone in my life, then what did I do to deserve this?

Don't I deserve better? These are just a few of the thoughts that cross the mind.

Am sure at some point in time, we have all been through or seen a loved one go through these emotions. Yes it is painful to see or experience this.

Being a victim of one's situation is a sort of a self fulfilling prophecy. It is an easy option. Self Pity and receiving sympathy is a vicious cycle that creates constant anxiety and in some sorts fulfilment too. 

At times an individual gets so wrapped in this little fable, that their situation could well become the entire biography of their lives. 

The trajectory of wallowing in self pity is enslaving and has the potential to hook you to that staggering story all your life. The more a person delves on upon the adverse situation, the higher the bitterness towards life and others. 

When you are in the eye of the storm, there is no right or wrong about what you feel. At the vortex of the situation the road ahead does seem dark.

Today in hindsight of what happened many years ago, I can says it all worked out pretty well. I am wiser with the lessons in life, relationships, business & monetary dealings! 

Expressive about what I do and do not want. 

The Law of Nature dictates thus:

Every storm passes...

A rainy day does create a rainbow...

A confrontation could be bitter, yet lead to realization...

An argument could actually open up a new perspective...

A fall out with a business partner, may just catapult you into another realm...

A setback may offer newer avenues that did not occur earlier...

A break up may release the drag and dowdiness from your life...

A layoff may open up other better opportunities

Having been there and done that, I would  say, it does help to take a small step back, and look at it from another point of view. Seek help, talk it out!

For a while remove the colored glasses of victim and look at it from a hero's perspective!

 Afterall the hero does shine through all the strife that he/she goes through! The journey is never easy, but the outcome could probably be worth it all!

And yes, I would say not judging yourself at that moment, not blaming another for how you felt or is definitely a key to bouncing back to normalcy. 

No judgements on playing victim, we all do it. It simply disallows you to see your own flaws. 

I think I like being the hero of my life, my story, of my game, of my business. I love feeling the exhilaration after the victim in me decides to give way to the HERO! 

Next time that I fall into the victim's snare, I intend to ask myself, what is the yarn that I am going to spin, VICTIM OR HERO?!